Happier In Love

"The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."   - Victor Hugo

Photo by: Amanda

Serious scientific inquiry has proven this quote to be true. By all measures of health and well being, the single most significant predictor of life time happiness and longevity is being involved in an intimate and loving relationship. It is true across seventeen cultures and in longitudinal studies of historic events that the people who fared the best even through traumas like war and the Great Depression were the people in stable partnerships and families.

Yet even with all this evidence of the power of loving bonds, we are caught in a culture that throws away relationships as though they were used up convenience foods. What is the deal? Are some people just lucky in love? Some of it may be luck. If you grew up as a wanted and beloved child of someone then the chances are good that a positive and secure romantic style is on your side. If you didn't have these advantages then chances are you fall into the avoidant or anxious romantic styles. All of these profiles or personality traits are linked to a child's ability to attach early in life. New research suggests that these early childhood patterns go a long way in explaining people's life long struggles with relationships.  

As the names suggest, avoidant and anxious romantic profiles can make it difficult for people to learn the very different skills of being able to both receive and give love.  If your childhood experiences didn't give you many positive memories and experiences of trust, it may be very difficult for you to approach your current relationships with any level of confidence that you will be loved.  Because our expectations and our beliefs about our relationships form the basis for how we communicate and behave in them, it becomes easier to see how many people continuously make bad decisions about the relationships they choose.   

And yet the story does not end there. Many neglected and not well loved children of the world have gone on to heal their belief systems and live out loving stories. I am among them.  It doesn't happen easily, but learning the skills of loving is possible for all of us. For many of us the key is learning to believe that we are worthy of love. Having compensated for so many years, we may be experts at the skills of loving others, but until we do the hard work of realizing "in spite of ourselves", we are lovable, we may never have a moment when our relationships feel secure. If there is any key to this work it is that love is a verb and seeing ourselves as loveable is an act that must be a part of every day.  

Learn more about Wendy at http://www.goodcleanlove.com/

Related posts:

Extending Life and Love
[PHOTOS] Celebrities Gone Naked for PETA
Wellness w/ @IvyJoeva: Instantly Solve Any Problem (Video)


  • Heya! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone!
    Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look
    forward to all your posts! Keep up the fantastic work!

  • Everyone loves it when individuals come together and share views.
    Great site, stick with it!

  • Excellent weblog here! Also your web site rather a lot up very fast!
    What web host are you the usage of? Can I am getting your affiliate link on your host?
    I desire my site loaded up as fast as yours lol

  • I have been browsing online more than 4 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.

    It’s pretty worth enough for me. Personally,
    if all web owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be
    much more useful than ever before.

  • Have you ever thought about adding a little bit more than just your articles?
    I mean, what you say is fundamental and all.

    But imagine if you added some great images or videos to give your posts more,
    “pop”! Your content is excellent but with pics and video clips, this blog could undeniably be one of the most beneficial in its niche.
    Awesome blog!

  • I am really thankful to the owner of this website who has
    shared this impressive post at at this time.

  • What’s up everyone, it’s my first pay a quick visit at this web page, and piece of writing is
    actually fruitful designed for me, keep up posting these posts.

  • Thanks very nice blog!

  • whoah this blog is excellent i really like reading your posts.
    Keep up the great work! You already know, a lot of individuals are looking round for this info, you could help them greatly.

  • Wow that was odd. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after
    I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr…
    well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyhow,
    just wanted to say great blog!

  • Good day! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading this post reminds
    me of my good old room mate! He always kept chatting about this.
    I will forward this page to him. Pretty sure he will
    have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

  • Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.
    Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! By the way, how can we communicate?

  • I’m not that much of a online reader to be honest but your blogs really nice, keep it
    up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back in the
    future. All the best

  • Do you have a spam issue on this website; I also am a blogger, and I was curious about your situation; we have created some nice practices and we are looking to swap methods with other folks, why not shoot me an e-mail if interested.|

  • Thank you for some other magnificent article. The place else could anyone get
    that kind of info in such an ideal approach of writing?
    I’ve a presentation next week, and I’m on the look for such info.

Girl Webcams Boy Cams CadabraPress Theme