It's really difficult at times to remember that I am actually the source for my own happiness and can cause and create my own reality based on what I choose to think or do.
As part of my Journey/Vision Board I have also agreed to keep a journal that tracks, informs, and notes my adventures this year. Keeping a journal is not as difficult for me now as it used to be. I used to have to make up things to say, and try to sound really profound and thoughtful.
|In the past few years however I have found writing in my journal to be less of a task and more of a joy when I realized that I did not have to always write out the tedium of my routine that day but instead started to capture and document the moment in the day that I was either present, moved, or otherwise inspired. I have always been a collector of notes, cards, magazine clippings, photos, flowers or whatever, and I started also to tape these totems in my journal as another way of expressing an insight, thought, or a gratitude, and soon my journal started looking more like a art book or inspiration book that anything else. I love going back and looking at something I tucked inside a journal that held special meaning at that time.|
I've used journals to grieve, snuggled up to them in my loneliness, issued secret love affairs with someone, (unbenounced to them) and I've used them to share my dreams and wacky business ideas. I leaned on one of them in my fears of being a new mother, and had even begun a "green" journal when I started Little Bits to track my insights, facts, eco footprint and confusion as I navigated through the murky waters of starting my own business in the green movement.
2008 was an incredibly tumultuous year and felt like one very long and drawn out bad hair day. I lost a great friend this year, my business suffered from the economy terribly, I felt overwhelmed and powerless to make things better. I relied on my journal as my grounding place, or at least the moment where my pen could express my anguish and confusion in a flurry of emphatic paragraphs (usually saying the same thing every day – only slightly different) as an outlet and as a therapeutic exercise for a place to put my mad ramblings. I look back (4 days ago) and can actually see that somewhere along the way last year, I lost my spirit for my business, my marriage, and my belief in myself.
As a way of calling back my spirit, I have also embraced another means of using my journal along with my vision board, and that is as a place that will hear my prayers.
I do not consider myself to be a religious person, but I've realized I have a deep need for prayer, and a place to express my desires, my gratitude, and my discoveries and wonder about the mysteries of this world to a place that feels safe and will capture it all.
Because I am up to big things in 2009, and am asking the universe to help me sort through it all and arrive someplace really wonderful and comfortable by 2010. I want peace, success, and happiness in my professional life, and in my personal life. I want to restore my belief that I am making a difference in the lives of others, and that I can continue down the path of self discovery with strength and love for myself, no matter how ugly things sometimes look.
I'll be keeping my vision board close and I will journal my thoughts keeping an eye towards looking for more ways that I can generate my own experience of my life each day and "get out my rainbow colors and make it beautiful."